Practical advice and recommendations: how to learn to love, appreciate and respect yourself! Advice from a psychologist: how to start loving and respecting yourself
Loving yourself is very important, but not every woman comes to this art as easily as she would like. Where do many problems come from? In fact, from the depths of your own consciousness - there is a source there. We ourselves set taboos, clichés, evaluate ourselves low, find fault, come up with possible best options past events, we think a lot about the bad, we consider ourselves unworthy of something. How to cope with the problem and learn to love yourself first?
External data – looking for advantages
There are no ugly women! Even if you were told otherwise, remember that bad things are remembered better. There are many jokes on this topic. For example, this: “He can tell her a hundred times that she is beautiful, but she will only remember that he hinted at her fatness.” That's the whole point. Many people do not know how to focus on the good, but only remember the bad.
How to work on yourself:
· Remember the compliments you have received. If you don’t communicate much with people, upload your favorite one to some group social network beautiful photo. They will write something good for you!
· Encourage yourself. In every little thing you need to praise yourself, your beloved. Do it mentally or out loud - it doesn’t matter, depending on the circumstances.
· Don't be lazy. Beautiful hair, a clean body, a neat manicure - this gives you self-confidence. You will fall in love with the very beauty that you see every day in the mirror.
Opinions of others
Have you ever thought how hard life is when you try to take into account the opinions of others? Remind yourself every time: “I live for myself!” The main thing is not to disturb or harm anyone, and everything else is just stereotypes. Love your life and everyone who is important in it. There will always be those who want to criticize you, even if you become Miss World.
Take criticism more easily, remember praise, praise other people. Criticism should be taken as an outside opinion. You can take a closer look at it and draw conclusions, but you don’t need to take its essence as a template.
When you learn to listen first to your inner voice, you will become happier. And before you know it, you will love yourself.
Think positive, dream
Have you ever thought about the composition of your thoughts? Most of us are accustomed to immersing ourselves in problems, feeling sorry for ourselves, and replaying the same unfortunate situation dozens of times in our thoughts. And this is a big mistake!
Everyone has failures. You need to draw conclusions, but not get hung up. Life goes on! You are beautiful, full of strength, beauty and... that same self-love.
Think more about the good, try to catch yourself in the negative and drive it away. Dream more, make plans, goals. Learn to have fun, even if you feel lonely today.
Remember - you are beautiful, even despite your flaws! All that remains is to highlight this beauty. And when you love yourself, others will also change their attitude towards you.
Very often you can hear the phrase: “Nobody loves me, everyone treats me badly.” But do you love yourself? Just answer this question honestly. Do you often criticize yourself? Do you like your reflection in the mirror? Do you approve of yourself in all your actions? Now think about your answers.
Instructions
Start pampering yourself. Give yourself a new hairstyle. Go to a beauty salon. Or set up a beauty salon at home. Give yourself a manicure. Take a bubble bath or rose petals. Light the candles, pour some wine or champagne. And just relax. This is the first step on the path to yourself.
Maybe you have long wanted to learn step dance. So make your dream come true. Sign up for dance lessons and get going
Watch your appearance. If you have a habit of going to the store in stretched sweatpants, get rid of it immediately. Of course, some have a different opinion, saying: “Who will I dress for?” And you start dressing for yourself. Stop and start choosing your clothes more carefully (for work, cultural events and holidays). Appearance also includes a reluctance to wear makeup. This is not what you need for evening makeup before going to the store. A protective face cream, a little mascara and clear gloss will be enough. Soon you will enjoy the attention that you will receive everywhere and always.
Praise yourself more often. Something worked out, say to yourself: “Well done”! And if something didn’t work out, it’s okay. It'll work out next time. The main thing is not to criticize yourself. There will be people who will do this for you. Don't try to be perfect, no people are perfect. Just do what you want (within the law, of course) and what you like.
Remember positive affirmations. Stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself: “I am myself. I am the best, the most beautiful. Everything always works out for me.” Or come up with an affirmation yourself and repeat it every day. Even if you don’t believe in the power of words, at least try it. And see how positive affirmations will change your life.
Start doing all of these right now. Your life will begin to change for the better only when you want it. It all depends on your thoughts. Love yourself now and the world will respond in kind.
Video on the topic
The topic of self-love has arisen relatively recently. Many psychologists and supporters positive thinking insist that old system, on which we were all brought up, excluded the very phenomenon of self-love. From childhood, people were taught that a person’s first place should be work, study, family and many other things. No one had any time or energy left for self-love.
Instructions
Many people confuse selfishness with the concept of selfishness. Of course, in order to pay attention to yourself, you need a little ego, otherwise a person will live for others. Loving yourself means keeping your body healthy, keeping your thoughts pure, pampering yourself with little gifts, and at the same time feeling like a human being. Of course, everyone associates the very fact of self-love in their own way. The most important thing is for a person to be sure that he is not infringing on himself in any way and lives in harmony with himself.
A person who loves himself will never harm his own body and health. He will stick healthy image life and eating rationally. If you want your own body, start doing fitness. Don't like intense exercise and can't imagine yourself in the gym? Start practicing yoga or qigong. Have you always dreamed of dancing? Dance clubs of all types are at your service. This way you will not only form a beautiful body, but also significantly strengthen your body, remove energy blocks, and become a flexible person.
How to love yourself and live your whole life with proper self-love. The article describes an interesting ten-step technique or program that will teach and tell you how to love yourself.
We have all heard a thousand times that it is impossible to learn to love without loving yourself. But until recently, I didn’t understand exactly how a person who loves himself acts. The most important points in the science of self-love I found in the book “The Power Within Us” by Louise L. Hay.
The author of a large number of bestsellers, Louise L. Hay is very well known to readers in many countries. She has received worldwide recognition as a psychologist and specialist in solving issues of self-healing from various diseases. Effective techniques of Louise Hay and her practical advice have helped thousands of people overcome illnesses of both soul and body. The basic principle of Louise Hay's work is that Each person must give a task to his consciousness, and it will cope with all the problems on its own.
How to love yourself - ten ways to learn to do it
How to love yourself is the first rule.Self-criticism must be abandoned
It is simply extremely necessary to develop a sense of self-worth and dignity. If we feel we are not good enough, we become humiliated and unhappy. All people are insecure because we are not gods, we are people. Let's not claim our own perfection. Excessive demands on ourselves put undue pressure on us. We must always remember that every person is unique. Each of us on Earth has our own task and role. And they have no analogues.
2. How to love yourself is the second rule. You need to stop scaring yourself.
Many of us constantly have dark thoughts. This only makes things worse. You cannot always live in anticipation of something bad. Paralyzing thoughts, negative affirmations or affirmations become stronger in our minds. If you catch yourself thinking negatively, then immediately switch to a pleasant image. Prepare a pleasant image for yourself in your mind. These can be pleasant stories from your life. And the exercise of replacing negativity with a pleasant image must be done regularly in order to have only bright thoughts. Of course, you will need persistence and patience.
How to love yourself third rule.You need to be gentle, kind and tolerant with yourself.
Most of us suffer from a desire for immediate gratification. Patience is a powerful tool. We can't wait. We get irritated, we get angry, we want to get everything good that is in life right now. We want to get a lot without putting in effort or doing anything to achieve what we want. Our consciousness is like a garden. You plant the necessary positive thoughts in our minds. If we patiently tend our “garden of thoughts,” our garden will bloom.
How to love yourself fourth rule. We must learn to be kind to our minds.
Being kind means stopping blaming and berating yourself for unfortunate circumstances. It is very important to be able to relax your body and brain. While relaxing, you can repeat the words to yourself: love, peace. The sound “Om” works great. It has come down to us from ancient times. It is important to be optimistic and create a clear positive image in any situation.
How to love yourself fifth rule. You need to learn to praise yourself.
Always support yourself with words of encouragement. Criticism destroys a person’s inner core, while praise shapes it. Tell yourself that you are great. Many many times. Don't waste your time on this. It will help, believe me.
How to love yourself sixth rule. You need to find support.
Many of us are very arrogant and are used to relying only on ourselves. Asking for help is not in our rules. Our ego doesn't allow us. We try to get out of all difficult situations on our own. But this doesn't always work out. And then we get angry from our own powerlessness. It is necessary to seek help. Go to your friends and relatives and ask them for help. Asking for help in difficult times is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength. With the help of friends, you will certainly solve all your problems.
How to love yourself the seventh rule. You need to accept your problems and troubles with love.
Not a single problem in a person’s life arises by chance. We ourselves contribute to the problem by trying to control certain situations. There is an opinion that you need to congratulate yourself on an illness or problem, as it serves as a reliable hint when choosing life path. If a person realizes this, then he finds a way out of the situation without harming himself.
And humor is also a means of solving problems in any area. Humor allows us to step back from the current situation, look at it from the outside and even from top to bottom.
How to love yourself, the eighth rule. You need to take care of your body.
A responsible attitude towards food and your well-being is a manifestation of self-love. For example, poor nutrition, smoking and other bad habits are evidence of self-dislike. There are many methods to improve health. You yourself must choose what suits you best.
How to love yourself, the ninth rule. It is necessary to work with a mirror.
This method can reveal what exactly prevents us from loving ourselves. There are several methods of working with a mirror. Here's one of them. As soon as we get up in the morning, we immediately go to the mirror, look at our reflection and ask ourselves: “What will be useful and enjoyable for me today?” Feel and get a frank answer to this question. Try not to forget throughout the day what will be useful to you and will bring you joy.
If an unpleasant event occurs, we again go to the mirror and say: “I still love you!”
Something good happens, thank your reflection in the mirror for experiencing happiness.
With the help of a mirror you can learn forgiveness. Looking in the mirror, you can sort things out with parents, bosses, children, husbands, lovers. You can say whatever you were afraid to tell them. But in the end, be sure to ask your “interlocutors” for approval and love, because this is exactly what a person needs.
There is a direct correlation: if you don’t forgive, you won’t love. If a person does not love himself, he does not know how to forgive. When we forgive and let go of resentment, our heart opens to love. By letting go of all grievances, a person heals his body better than with antibiotics.
How to love yourself tenth rule. You need to love yourself now.
Many of us have such a bad habit - eternal dissatisfaction with ourselves. In order to enjoy life, you need to be happy with yourself now. It is now, and not tomorrow and the day after tomorrow, to approve, love and adore yourself. Only when we love ourselves will we be able to love the people around us.
Leave other people alone, we can never change them. Knowing ourselves through self-love is all that is available to us. If vibrations of love emanate from us, then there will definitely be loving people next to us.
We come into this world for unconditional love. It begins, first of all, with self-love and self-acceptance. We come into this world only to know ourselves and to know love at the deepest level in order to show it to others.
When we leave this world, we do not take material goods with us. The only thing that belongs to a person is the ability to love.
This is how Louise Hay talks about how to love yourself and what you need to do for this. I'm really looking forward to your comments. Always glad to meet you on the blog pages
“Self-hatred is a feeling that we are rarely aware of,” says Charles Roizman. – Firstly, it is so unpleasant and destructive that we force it out. Secondly, when we encounter difficulties, we most often think that they were caused by other people or unfavorable circumstances. It is difficult for us to admit that they are caused by our internal problems and by what creates these problems: an unworthy image of oneself.”
Why do we talk about hatred and not about lack of self-confidence or low self-esteem? “Because this is a very specific feeling that causes a distorted image of ourselves as a monster: we perceive ourselves entirely as bad, inadequate, good for nothing.”
The disgusting creature that we want to hide at all costs from others and from ourselves is in fact a wounded being: as a child, family members or others tortured us, tormented by ridicule, incessant accusations, exclusion, rejection and mistreatment, and all this makes us still be ashamed of ourselves.
Past experiences of violence make us think that we do wrong all the time, force us to give up ourselves in favor of others or to submit to those who instill fear in us. But in most cases we do not even have a clear awareness of what we have experienced. And instead of feeling sorry for ourselves, we continue to treat ourselves poorly and consider ourselves pathetic.
Am I really to blame or do I feel guilty because I was regularly made to feel guilty?
In essence, self-hatred is love that has been disappointed and turned into its opposite. Trauma prevents us from becoming who we hope to be. And we don’t forgive ourselves for this.
Our flawed ideas about ourselves cannot but affect our lives. But if we find them, we will have a chance to free ourselves from them.
Charles Roizman offers three paths to healing:
“First, look at how we treat others - demandingly, critically - in order to better understand how we were treated.
Secondly, identify our negative beliefs about ourselves and try to understand where they come from.
Thirdly, and most importantly, learn to distinguish between fantasies and reality: are the reproaches that I address to myself justified? Am I really to blame or do I feel guilty because I was regularly made to feel guilty?
At some point you need to start a fight with yourself and stop condemning yourself in advance. By recognizing the signs of self-loathing in different areas of our lives, we can more comfortably accept our shortcomings, as well as our strengths.”
In our relationship
Reproduction of violence, difficulty creating intimate space. Because we are not aware of what has been done to us, we risk, without noticing it, in turn being inattentive, blaming, suppressing and humiliating partners, children, colleagues... “It is the violence that we reproduce that limits our ability to love others in the same way.” as they are, and show ourselves as we really are. That is, ultimately create intimacy.”
We hide behind (too) positive self-images (sweet, ideal, loyal) or too provocative ones (“I am who I am whether you like it or not,” “I value my freedom too much to get involved with anyone”). . These positions allow us to keep others at a distance, but also reveal deep-seated self-doubt.
In our achievements
Dreams abandoned, talents buried in the ground.“Because we don’t love ourselves enough, it’s difficult for us to achieve our goals: we don’t take our dreams seriously, we don’t dare to fulfill our desires, we simply don’t give ourselves this opportunity,” notes Charles Roizman.
We always put off until later the life we would like to lead: we feel neither worthy of happiness nor capable of it.
And then we either console ourselves or engage in self-sabotage. And yet we never realize our underestimated potential. Boredom and the feeling that we are not living our own lives are sure signs of self-hatred that we do not recognize. To cope with our disappointments, we convince ourselves that no one ever does what they want in life.
In our work
Unfulfilled ambitions, impostor syndrome. Likewise, self-hatred holds back professional development. If we are convinced of our insignificance, if we do not give ourselves the right to make mistakes, then any encounter with difficulties in mastering new tasks, any criticism can become unbearable. Instead of listening to our desire to develop, we pretend that we have no ambitions, that we give this right to others. “We direct the contempt we feel towards ourselves towards those who succeed and whom we envy, although we cannot admit it to ourselves,” notes Charles Roizman.
If, despite all this, we achieve a responsible position, we are faced with impostor syndrome: “We do not feel capable of performing the functions entrusted to us, and we are terrified at the thought of being exposed,” he explains. Self-hatred prevents us from recognizing our strengths: if we succeed, it is only because others were mistaken about us.
In our body
Non-recognition of beauty, neglect of health. How we take care of ourselves is obviously related to how much we value ourselves. If we were once neglected, now we neglect ourselves: shapeless clothes, sloppy hair... If we cannot appear in public without complex makeup or an elaborate outfit, this also indicates a lack of self-confidence and a reluctance to be seen in natural state.
What is not so obvious is that “self-hatred also manifests itself in neglect of one’s health: we don’t go to the dentist or gynecologist. We think we deserve this destruction, this suffering, and we don’t dare show anyone the parts of our body that we have been made to feel ashamed of.
In our affections
The need for “crutches”, difficulties with choice.“When we were children and we failed to receive confirmation of our existence through approval, permission, recognition from our parents, this dealt a blow to our ability to be independent,” explains Charles Roizman. Having matured, we do not know how to make decisions, make choices on our own. We still need to lean on someone, and if that someone is unavailable, then something. This dependence creates the ground for obsessive needs and painful attachments. It also makes us vulnerable to sexual harassment and malicious manipulation. One way or another, it testifies to our conviction that on our own we do not deserve the right to exist.
About the expert
(Charles Rojzman) – founder of social psychotherapy; co-author of the book “How to Learn to Love Yourself in hard times" His website.
An individual is truly happy if he is loved and loves someone. True, not everyone manages to live in harmony with themselves and with others. Many people suffer from misunderstanding, humiliation, and lack of love, but cannot understand the causes of their misfortunes. It turns out that the individual himself “programs” the people around him to have a bad attitude towards himself. The source of the problem is dislike for oneself. If a person wants to change, he should love himself and become a different person.
Individuals who do not love themselves can hardly count on the respect of others. People feel each other's inner mood. There is a saying: what you put out is what you get. If a person is not filled with spiritual content, he is not only disliked by himself, but also disliked by other members of society.
Women, more than anyone else, need constant love and respect. After all, they live by feelings, and the adoration of others inspires them to act. Representatives of the fair half of humanity need to be beloved wives, girlfriends, and mothers. Only love gives them incentive and is a source of inexhaustible energy. Women who do not receive love lose interest in life, become depressed, and slowly fade away. However, solving their problem is very simple - you should psychological attitude will change their lives and the attitude of people around them.
If a person is unloved, then he is, as a rule, jealous and very envious. These negative qualities character poison his life. You can't be happy without love. It is necessary to live in harmony with the world around you and yourself.
How does an individual who loves and is loved behave:
- takes care of his appearance;
- likes others, knows how to build friendly relationships with everyone;
- always kind, helps others;
- finds easily mutual language with people;
- knows how to take risks, acts actively and boldly;
- has a beloved partner, family, children;
- successful in business;
- has no bad habits;
- constantly realizes himself in various spheres of public life.
- Actions that cause a person to despise himself.
Not everyone manages to behave correctly in a difficult situation. No one is immune from mistakes. Sometimes people beat themselves up because they cannot forgive themselves for their wrongdoings. You cannot blame yourself for mistakes, because they are lessons through which people learn to live and understand life.
- Inconsistency with the invented image.
A person wants to behave correctly in any situation and look like a hero from his favorite book. Not everyone manages to live up to the ideal. Life is full of problems, they cannot be solved without making compromises with your own conscience. And to look like a star from the cover of a magazine is unforgivable stupidity. After all, every person has an interesting individuality.
- Everyday difficulties.
People who face many problems every day cannot have a positive attitude towards the world and themselves. Everything appears to them in a black light. True, they don’t even realize that the way out of a difficult situation lies in the plane of their attitude towards themselves.
- Failure of planned plans.
Sometimes a person works long and hard to achieve the desired result. It's not always possible to become the best and get what you deserve. Failures crush people. If a person fails, he stops loving himself.
What is self-love and how is it formed?
Before learning to love yourself, it is advisable to understand what love is and under the influence of what circumstances it arises. Self-love is understanding your essence and accepting all your shortcomings. An individual must know what he wants from life, why he lives. It is important to be aware of the reasons for your behavior, to accept your strengths and weak sides character. Loving yourself means constantly rejoicing in your victories.
Love originates in a person’s heart and manifests itself in his actions. A child sees that his parents adore him if he hears approval and praise addressed to him. An adult man shows his love with beautiful words and actions.
If an individual loves, then he acts. Love requires proof. This wonderful feeling arises through care, careful attitude, and self-sacrifice.
Is self-love selfish?
Many people think that loving themselves is unforgivable selfishness. This remark is incorrect. There is a difference between love and selfishness. To love means to sacrifice something for the sake of others, to realize oneself without harming the interests of loved ones. Selfishness is when a person is fixated on his own needs, and for the sake of his own goals, he neglects the desires of other people.
Self-love cannot be selfish. After all, it is completely spent on making the lives of relatives happier. A loving individual cares not only about himself, but also about others. Real feeling, without a shadow of obsession and selfishness, always attracts reciprocity. An egoist pushes people away from him, especially if he doesn’t need them.
How to love yourself: 5 steps towards yourself and simple rules for every day
If a person suffers from low self-esteem and feels that he is not liked by others, he needs to learn to love himself. It's very easy to do. You need to work on yourself and change a little.
- Pay attention to your appearance and take care of yourself every day.
- Find interesting activity, realize oneself in society.
- Believe in yourself and don’t give up in difficult situations.
- Solve problems independently.
- Lead an active lifestyle and play your favorite sport.
If a person wants to love himself, he needs to become an interesting person. It is not enough to look good, although this is important for raising self-esteem. An individual must fill his life with something interesting, find something to do to his liking. You can’t isolate yourself within four walls or in the circle of your endless problems. We need to destroy the barrier that prevents us from seeing and feeling the world. A person should receive deserved praise and respect from others.
Simple rules for every day that help increase self-esteem:
- train yourself to smile every day;
- find in your character and appearance pleasant features and focus attention on them;
- write an action plan for the day, and summarize in the evening;
- update your wardrobe, get rid of old-fashioned things;
- bring the job you started to completion;
- don’t be afraid to look or act unconventionally;
- learn to stop the flow of negative thoughts, think only about the good;
- take care of your appearance, if necessary, change your hairstyle, lose weight, join the gym;
- always maintain correct posture, do not slouch, do not lower your head;
- get more rest;
- please your body with cosmetic procedures, sauna, massage;
- once a week, walk around the room naked - this will help you get rid of many complexes;
- learn to accept compliments;
- do not judge yourself harshly for mistakes;
- always stand up for your rights;
- never talk about your shortcomings with your friends;
- do not silently accept bad attitude towards yourself;
- read more, watch interesting programs, go to theaters, restaurants, cafes;
- create with my own hands- draw, cook, sew clothes, make furniture;
- watch your speech, do not make negative statements;
- get to know each other more often, communicate more;
- Don’t compare yourself to anyone;
- Don't put others on pedestals;
- tell people compliments, give gifts to loved ones.
If a person wants to be in a positive mood, he must think positively. All thoughts are material. Words and phrases spoken by an individual in the context of an unpleasant conversation subsequently affect his internal state. By uttering special words that give commands to the subconscious, you can return yourself to a positive direction after a quarrel or showdown. Such phrases are called affirmations.
Affirmation to normalize your mood:
“I am calm and nothing will unsettle me. I accept life and people as they are. I love this world. I think only positively. I have the strength to cope with any problem. It's easy for me to overcome any troubles. I'm not offended by anyone. The deeper I breathe, the more energy I have. I feel great. I'm happy and calm. I have everything in my life. I love myself and the people around me."
Books on the topic “How to start loving yourself?”
Many people want to change and make their life a little better. True, desire alone is not enough. You need to know what actions to take, what to do in order to become a happy and loved person. Knowledge about the self-development of an individual can be gleaned from books on personality psychology. You can find psychological literature on the topic “How to love yourself” on the Internet or in bookstores. Thanks to books on self-development, people will learn to understand themselves, their thoughts, desires, and analyze their own actions. With understanding and acceptance of your “I” comes self-love.
How to love yourself - interesting books on psychology:
- Louise Hay "Album of Healing Affirmations";
- Litvak M. E. “If you want to be happy”;
- Loretta Breuning "Happiness Hormones";
- Anne Lamott "Small Victories";
- Alice Muir "Self Confidence"
- Labkovsky M. “Love yourself with any appearance”;
- Kurpatov A.V. “12 non-trivial solutions. Find peace in your soul."
The most famous book that has helped many people become happy is Dale Carnegie’s bestseller “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.” In this work, the author gives readers valuable advice who can change lives for the better.
American psychologist recommends getting rid of painful mistakes of the past in a simple way- lock negative thoughts in your mind iron door. You can’t torment yourself with something that has already been done and cannot be corrected. Facing difficult situation threatening big troubles, it is advisable to imagine the outcome in black tones. If an individual comes to terms with the idea of a possible loss, it will be easier for him to accept reality.
Whatever the problems, you should not exaggerate their significance too much and worry too much. In the end, the worst thing that can await a person is death, but it is inevitable. You need to combat worries and anxieties with the help of positive thoughts. Thinking about the good, an individual develops an attitude that brings him only joy and happiness.
Dale Carnegie recommends that all people who want to get rid of worries should do something. If you are constantly idle, it is impossible to distract yourself from negative thoughts. A hobby, a favorite hobby, or a useful activity will help you get rid of depression.
It is advisable to get rid of bad habits. True, this is not so easy to do. The author of the book “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” advises replacing bad habits with healthy ones. Instead of smoking, you can, for example, train yourself to do squats or eat an apple.
Why is it so important to stop worrying about trifles? As a rule, people who are too vulnerable and sensitive suffer from low self-esteem and self-dislike. Their uncertainty own strength is a derivative bad mood. The internal state of a suspicious person is associated with various worries and unsubstantiated fears. It is advisable to switch your attention to other people or your favorite activity, so as not to worry about trifles and not torment yourself with far-fetched problems. The main thing in gaining self-confidence is daily work on your own shortcomings. If you don't do anything, you won't be able to change your life.
If a person wants to become happy and gain the respect and love of others, but he cannot do this on his own, he must seek help from a practicing psychologist-hypnologist
How to learn to love yourself in our modern world, because it is very important to have self-esteem, but, unfortunately, a considerable number of people have an underestimated assessment of their place among others.
What is self love
Love is acceptance without conditions and reservations, with all the pros and cons. A person who wants love should not prove to others that he is better. To love yourself, you need to be confident in yourself and know your strengths.
So what do you need to do to love yourself?
- Forgive yourself for your wrongdoings. The feeling of guilt negatively affects a person if it is no longer relevant and has no boundaries. It is worth letting go of all the bad things that have been done. Mistakes are normal. Even if it is no longer possible to fix something, it is still worth letting go and forgiving yourself. This does not mean that you can immediately relax and repeat everything again. With the help of mistakes, you can gain experience and some knowledge so that you don’t do everything exactly the same later.
- Accept yourself. It is necessary to fully accept yourself with what nature has created, to realize your own individuality. All people are unique. At first it’s not easy to do this, but after this stage it becomes easier to truly love yourself. You need to respect yourself even with all your shortcomings. They are also part of the personality. Every person has good and bad, but you can’t love only the good and the good. This is not true love.
- Stop depending on the opinions of others. Very often, the opinions of others prevent you from accepting yourself. Yes, the love of others can help in this difficult journey, but the most important thing is your own opinion about yourself, and not someone else’s. Love is in the person himself, and not in his relatives, spouse or friends. Stop criticizing yourself. Self-criticism leads to self-destruction. It’s one thing to soberly assess your shortcomings, and another thing to tear yourself to smithereens because of them. The result will be the opposite of what was expected.
- Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Oddly enough, self-pity also only brings negativity. Turning yourself into a “victim” is the wrong approach. It is important to look at yourself correctly and not exaggerate.
- Try to become better. Despite accepting yourself, it is still worth continuing to improve yourself. Correction of deficiencies will bring good effect. From the realization that he is capable of change in better side, and from new virtues a person begins to truly love himself. The most important thing is not to “get sick” of narcissism.
- Stop comparing yourself to others. This tactic will not lead to anything good, quite the opposite. As mentioned above, all people are different. At the same time, everyone is equal, there are no those who could be better only by definition. It’s one thing to look up to strong personalities, and another thing to constantly compare yourself with them and find new shortcomings in yourself.
- Stop judging others. Even if they really don't seem that good, you still shouldn't criticize them. This activity only accumulates negativity and prevents the emergence of love; rather, it provokes narcissism - “everyone is bad, but I am beautiful.” Avoid sloppiness in appearance. Appearance matters too. You need to not only love your body, but also start taking care of it. Appearance can say a lot about a person. As they say, you meet someone by their clothes.
- Start and achieve them. Let them be small, for example, doing exercises in the morning or learning how to cook a dish according to a new recipe. This will help over time to increase “demands” and become more persistent; it will instill in a person willpower, self-confidence and fighting spirit. And this is a reason to be proud of yourself.
- Start looking for reasons to be proud of yourself. You can’t compare yourself with others, but you can (and should!) compare with yourself. With yourself from yesterday or the day before yesterday. And most importantly, you need to find at least one thing that distinguishes the current version of yourself from the past for the better. This is a reason to be proud of yourself.
- Advice one. Lists. You need to make two lists. In the first, a person writes what he likes about himself. These could be some moral qualities or external signs, or maybe victories and achievements. In the second, on the contrary, everything is negative. The second list is then torn into small pieces or burned. The “positive” list is memorized. Every three days you need to add a new word there.
- Tip two. New and good. Every evening you need to write down on a piece of paper at least a few small victories that happened to a person during the day. It could be a successfully caught cup flying off a shelf. Or beautifully done makeup, which was noted by one of my friends. Or maybe some new positive sense of self or personal achievement. Such lists will help you become confident in your own strengths and capabilities.
- Tip three. Find advantages. This advice is about appearance. A person stands in front of a mirror and simply looks at himself, naming the advantages in his appearance. It may be silky hair, beautiful colour an eye or a pleasant lip line. Even skin color. Accepting your appearance is also very important.
- Tip four. "My!". A man examines his body, from his toes to the ends of his hair, and repeats only one word: “Mine.” It should sound joyful, absolutely without negativity, with a feeling of satisfaction that this body is truly “his.” Even some shortcomings and ordinary phenomena - everything should be perceived joyfully. It may be hard at first, but then this exercise helps you treat yourself with sincere love.
Bye everyone.
Best regards, Vyacheslav.
