No one to meet the new one. Where and with whom to celebrate the New Year: advice from a psychologist. Word spelling rule
I am writing this note with a deep hangover. Hands shaking, fingers falling on the wrong keys on the keyboard. So sorry for the slips. And all not for the sake of hooliganism or chronic alcoholism, but only for the sake of the will of the editor who sent me on the assignment. After all, there is such a phenomenon - lonely Muscovites. New Year's Eve is just around the corner, and they don't even have anyone to drink with. But it turned out - the matter is fixable.
- Hello, Vyacheslav? I'm calling you from an ad. I am looking for a companion.
The last sentence was the hardest for me. Still, I am a non-drinker (in general), and at the moment I am generally sober. And the man specified the address. And in 40 minutes he was there. We immediately switched to you.
You have a good job, - I said on the way to the cafe.
He admitted that he began drinking companionship this winter. There are few clients so far.
We sat down near the window and ordered a beer. Vyacheslav drank from his glass, grunted contentedly and offered to switch to something stronger. The waiter nodded understandingly and a minute later was unloading vodka, sliced lemon, orange juice and herring from the tray. I took out three and a half thousand rubles (yes, communication is not cheap these days) and handed them over to my drinking buddy.
- This, - I say, - you for work. And then we'll forget.
Slavka did not count and put the money in his pocket. At first, he acted like he was on an exam. He lowered his eyes, did not know where to put his hands. But after the third glass he grew bolder and said:
Babs are evil.
I hiccupped silently and demanded an explanation.
Nobody knows what they want, - Vyacheslav developed the theme. - I'm forty-one years old. And I am a child compared to a woman. By the way, my wife is a teacher...
If Slava's speech is reduced to theses, then the general meaning is as follows. There is no love. It was invented by idle poets. But there is a chemistry that comes from women and that is stronger than any man. No wonder Mayakovsky fell in love with Lilya Brik.
I kept trying to figure out what Slavka does for a living. But he, despite alcohol intoxication, rested to the last. And he refused to elaborate. He only said that a couple of years ago he received a degree in psychology.
- What university? I asked.
And what's the difference, - Slavka answered me. - Why do you want to know? Imagine that we are just neighbors. We are going to Novy Urengoy.
I imagined.
Slavka laughed all the way and was in an extremely cheerful frame of mind. Most of all, he was amused by the fact that a year ago I got divorced.
I don’t understand why you need to get married, - said Slavka. - Here I live with my civil marriage and do not complain. So don't rush into this. And take yourself not a Muscovite, but some rural woman. They are more modest.
ON THE LEAD
How much money have we wasted
We drank the last one. I also had to pay the bill. And he came out quite big.
To be honest, I don't remember how much it cost and exactly how much we ate and drank. I am a liter of beer and a bottle of vodka. He - 0.5 beer and a bottle of vodka. Orange juice. Two servings of potatoes with herring. Lemon slice. Two servings of beef. Two servings of toast. Everything seems to be. And how from a bush 4000 rubles. Plus 3500 for the service. Total: 7500 - for a dubious conversation with a leavened psychologist and a headache in the morning. By the way, if you call a "drinking buddy" on New Year's Eve, you will have to pay three times more for the service - more than 10 thousand. After all, you don’t have anyone, but all the “drinking companions” have families.
WHAT ELSE
Skating, sitting in the lotus position
Dina KARPITSKAYA
My colleague Pavel Klokov was disappointed in the “drinking buddy” service. I offer singles more optimistic options for celebrating the New Year
I want to spend New Year's Eve somehow in a special way. After all, it is known how you celebrate the New Year, so you will spend it. How to fulfill your own desires and at the same time not spoil relations with family and friends?
Friendly New Year's Party
Having many friends is good. But when each of them begins to pull you and your husband into their company ... How to explain to one why you preferred the company of others?
1. Who did not have time, he was late. The simplest thing is to say that you have already been invited. And be sure to express your regret for not being able to accept their offer.
2. On a territorial basis. Moving around the city on New Year's Eve and the next morning is an adventure that can spoil the impression of the holiday. Therefore, in case of refusal, one can refer to the desire to avoid long trips.
3. Change the meeting time. New Year's Eve is not the only opportunity to see friends. Therefore, having received another invitation, you can sweeten the bitter pill of your refusal with an offer to meet on vacation.
4. Friends of my friends… If it is difficult for you to make a choice, you can not choose, but combine everyone into one company. Of course, this decision requires delicacy towards those who invited you before everyone else, but nothing is impossible.
new year at home
The older generation is kind to the tradition of celebrating the New Year with the family. Therefore, your confession that you would like to decorate not a Christmas tree, but a palm tree or spend this night with friends, parents can meet with hostility. How to be?
1. Trying to sit on two chairs. The “territorial sign” mentioned above can help you out in this situation too. Try to allocate time in such a way as to spend the old year with your parents, and then have time to get to your friends before the chiming clock.
2. New technologies to help. If you are going on vacation with your husband, invite your parents to use Skype to create the effect of your presence at their home. You can also send your photos from the trip: even if they are offended, they will still be pleased!
3. Next time. Often, parents are not so much interested in the very fact of having a daughter (and son-in-law) at the festive table, but in the belief that they are more important to you than “some kind of friends”. Therefore, you must definitely say how hard it is for you to deprive them of your company, and promise that you will try to celebrate the next New Year together.
4. Get out in front of people. In order not to look like deserters in the eyes of your parents, give them some interesting event as a New Year's gift - buy theater tickets or pay for a restaurant. Perhaps, having met the New Year (or its eve) outside the home, they will begin to understand you better.
Just you and him
But what if you not only leave your parents, but also want them to sit with the child while you and your husband are in a restaurant or on a trip? And how in such a situation to explain to the baby why you leave him on this fabulous New Year's Eve?
1. Profitable offer. Remember how in fairy tales the kings promise the heroes for a favor: “I will give half my kingdom and my daughter in marriage!” Or how you, as a child, begging to buy a dog, swore to study for one five. Of course, you are not a king and no longer a little girl, but the essence of the conflict of interest is the same. Your task is to understand what else your parents want besides your presence, and promise them to fulfill it.
2. Light blackmail. Sometimes it is enough to slightly put pressure on the feelings of grandparents, saying in between times that you are going to spend the night in a country restaurant, you will have to take the baby with you ... Most likely, mom will imagine all sorts of horrors (loud music, drunken guests, a completely unchildish menu) and she will offer her help.
3. Bedtime story. If the child is small and believes in Santa Claus, then it is best to explain the reason for your absence with your husband in a language he understands. For example, say that you are going to help Grandfather and will return in the morning with gifts.
4. Heart to heart talk. In many situations, it is better to tell the truth than to go for tricks. Both parents and the child can honestly admit that you really want not just warm family gatherings, but a romantic miracle. And such a miracle for you will be a New Year's holiday alone with your loved one. Ask them not to deprive you of this once-a-year opportunity. And then you will again turn into an exemplary daughter and a loving mother.
How the New Year is celebrated in other countries
Germany
The Germans like to celebrate the New Year in a noisy company. Young people celebrate with friends at home or in a club. And older people prefer restaurants. A traditional treat on the New Year's table is Berlin donuts. Sometimes one of them is filled not with sweet confiture, but with mustard or onions - whoever is lucky!
Bulgaria
Here the New Year is considered a family holiday and is usually celebrated at home. A traditional Bulgarian banitsa pie is served on the table, stuffed with pieces of paper with predictions or surprises - coins, sweets and ... peppercorns.
Italy
But the Italians take to the streets on New Year's Eve, arranging festivities. Previously, they try to get rid of all rubbish by throwing old things (clothes, furniture, dishes) out of the windows of the house. They believe that this will help them become happy. In a way, they are right.
It is generally accepted that the New Year is a family holiday. And you should meet him, if not with your family, then at least in a cheerful company. But what about those who will celebrate the New Year alone? How to entertain yourself?
According to studies, 5% of Russians annually celebrate the New Year alone. There are several reasons for this - some people quarrel or part with their loved ones on the eve of the holiday, others move to a new place of residence, others just haven’t found their loved one yet, and others feel so tired that they don’t want to go anywhere at all and see no one. How to celebrate the New Year in such situations?
If you chose the “society” option, ask yourself another question: “Am I really alone?” It is likely that you can only feel lonely because you had a fight with a young man, and close friends went abroad to celebrate and you did not have time to join them.
Your sadness is understandable. But in the circle of your communication there will always be people who will be glad to see you. It can be parents, friends, neighbors, colleagues, virtual acquaintances, after all. And where society is, there is fun, in which case all of the methods listed below will suit you.
All options are in no way ready-made recipes, but only serve as a starting point for your creativity.
A holiday by its own rules for those who want to be alone
If you are alone on New Year's Eve, it does not mean that you are a loser. Appreciate solitude. Believe me, there are many people who would like to be alone with themselves for at least a few hours. So enjoy the opportunity, do whatever you want! We invite you to listen to some of our ideas:
- Definitely, just the way you always wanted! Don't skimp on yourself.
- Cook your favorite or unusual dishes, or order a meal at a restaurant. What you can cook for the New Year with your own hands, you can find out.
- Stock up and watch them on New Year's Eve. Yes, and do not forget about the children's New Year's fairy tales: "Frost", "New Year's Adventures of Masha and Vitya", "Three Nuts for Cinderella", "The Snow Queen", "Twelve Months", and you will remember the simple truth - good always triumphs over evil.
- Make a wish when the clock strikes midnight. Write a letter with the best wishes to yourself, your beloved. Write about what you want to achieve in the new year, what to learn and what impressions to get, wish yourself everything that you really want for a long time, seal it and put it in a secret place, for example, in a box with the rest. And a year later, taking out toys, you will stumble upon a message from the past and check which of your dreams have come true.
- Take some goodies with you, a glass of champagne, turn on Skype and chat with friends through the general chat. You can even meet the New Year on Skype, making toasts and raising glasses.
- By the way, the New Year is a great opportunity to communicate with those with whom you are little acquainted, or for some reason have ceased to contact. Go to and you will be surprised how many people celebrate the New Year just like you. Perhaps some of them are lonely now and are looking for communication on the Internet. Congratulate each other, find out who celebrates the main holiday of the year and how, talk about dreams and plans. You may want to meet.
- Lie down to sleep. Why not? It is not at all necessary to wait for the New Year, stay up late, heroically forcing yourself to watch New Year's programs. If you feel sleepy, lie down and sleep as much as you like.
A holiday for those who need society
So, if you honestly admitted to yourself that you still want to spend the holiday in the company, but were left alone on New Year's Eve, we can recommend the following ideas to you:
One for the New Year: how to meet?
- You can get out into the light. If you feel good in the company of strangers, but find yourself alone, go to a restaurant, a nightclub, the main square, or attend another mass event. Naturally, you need to take care of all this in advance - find out about interesting places and their program for New Year's Eve, if necessary - purchase tickets and pick up an outfit. Do not be afraid to communicate with people, on such a holiday they are more good-natured and open. Feel free to ask for help to set fire to sparklers, uncork champagne, take a picture of you against the backdrop of a sparkling Christmas tree, and so on. Have fun, dance, invite to dance - universal joy unites hearts!
- Create a topic on the forum: “I celebrate the New Year alone, who will keep the company?” The method is suitable for sociable, proactive, non-boring, easy-going people, because you may have to come up with and implement a holiday plan or agree to the conditions of others.
- Arrange a holiday of good deeds. Buy candies, cookies, chocolates, holiday favors and go outside with congratulations. Give New Year's presents to everyone in a row - children, familiar and unfamiliar adults. We think no one will refuse them. By the way, this is a good way to meet your destiny. Spotted a handsome man? Approach him with an open box of chocolates and offer to treat him. Let him just try not to invite you later on a date!
- On New Year's Eve, go to a grocery store - for example, one that you often visit - and congratulate all the staff. Give your workers cards and small souvenirs. We guarantee that you will be remembered for a long time.
- Prepare, sign postcards in advance and throw them in the mailboxes of your neighbors. You can even give them in person.
- If you have a dog, buy her a Santa Claus costume, and dress up as a Snow Maiden yourself and go for a walk in a good mood. The attention of passers-by is guaranteed to you. Grab more sweets, lollipops and small souvenirs - you will probably have to congratulate the audience.
- Or dress up the dog as Santa Claus, and the cat as the Snow Maiden and arrange a photo shoot for them. Take care of the decorations and safety!
Holiday with parents
One for the New Year: how to meet?
Let's tell you a story on this topic:
20-year-old Tanya was firmly convinced that celebrating the New Year with her parents was childish. For several years now, she has been celebrating the holiday with her boyfriend and his friends. Despite the fact that her relationship with her partner was in distress, she insisted that she should spend another New Year with him. The holiday did not bring anything good - they once again quarreled.
When the next morning, offended, weeping and hungry, Tanya returned home, she saw her parents sniffing sweetly, a refrigerator full of New Year's dishes and gifts folded for her under the tree ... The girl realized that you need to celebrate the holiday with those who really need you.
In life, it may happen that on one of the most wonderful holidays a person will be left alone.
Of course, there is little pleasant here. But is it possible to find a way out of the situation?
Therefore, below are 3 top tips on what to do if you have no one to celebrate the New Year with.
Even if relatives live far away, there will always be good friends, colleagues, neighbors, in the end, with whom you can share this holiday. None of us wants to be imposed, to burden strangers with our presence on this purely family day.
However, the New Year's tradition has developed so much that the majority of guests for the New Year are just happy. It is enough to throw the idea to your friends, to hint that you will be left alone for the holiday. Most likely, a kind family will gladly invite you.
Do not refuse: such a holiday can be exactly the coincidence when you meet new interesting people who will be your good friends for many years to come.
And the free "risk" to acquire a soul mate. After all, miracles happen on this very night!
Don't be afraid to burden someone. If something is wrong, people will still come up with a reason not to invite you to their place: courtesy does not work on New Year's Eve. Therefore, if you are nevertheless called to a celebration, go with a clear conscience: they really want to see you!
It is not necessary to help the hosts, get in the way and give advice, but you can offer your participation in the preparation of the celebration. Of course, within reason.
Feel like a beloved guest and let yourself relax!
Every year clubs, cafes and restaurants host themed parties. Many visit them after a family dinner, and judging by the filled halls, the public really likes these events.
What is the advantage of "going out" over a family holiday? The fact that for many women this is an occasion to do something unusual, dance, flirt, get acquainted ...
Here you can afford great freedom and be selfish - no running around to the kitchen and back, the club takes care of all the fuss!
In a club, restaurant or cafe - this will not be a holiday of the “format” that you are most likely used to. This is an atmosphere of light revelry and laid-back fun, and not home comfort. Tune in for airiness and flirting, leave complexes and clamps at home - then you will definitely like the holiday.
The best way to cope with the holiday alone is to dedicate it to yourself. Let the TV entertain you, but with a selection of your favorite films that always cheer you up.
By the way, do not forget about the Internet, Skype and phone: relatives who, for one reason or another, are now far away can join you.
Promise yourself that you will make a real New Year's gift: you can start the morning with shopping, look at the hairdresser in the afternoon, unwrap the purchases that you made a few hours earlier in the evening.
Make a list of things that bring you pleasure. Maybe it's a good novel, an old series, or a certain brand of cake? So now you can throw yourself a feast, a celebration of the fulfillment of small desires that have accumulated over the whole year.
Don't cheat yourself. This is your holiday too. Don't forget to give yourself a gift and make it special.
Consider that this is an unusual day that should be joyful.
Do not take what happened as a tragedy: after all, every holiday is special, and, probably, this particular holiday will be remembered for the fact that for the first time in many years you devoted it to exclusively healthy egoism.
Most people start asking themselves this question in early December. Of course, there are several possible answers, and each for himself personally evaluates the advantages and disadvantages of his choice. Let's try to figure out together where and with whom to celebrate the New Year.
1. With friends
Perhaps this is the most common way to spend New Year's Eve. First, you come to everything ready. Of course, you can agree in advance and bring a cooked dish with you, but such efforts are in no way comparable to setting the table yourself for 15-20 people. Usually, the largest apartments of friends are chosen as the venue for the meeting (so that everyone fits). The owners are responsible for buying and decorating a Christmas tree, hanging garlands, and giving an ordinary apartment a festive mood. So that guests can fully enjoy the already prepared comfort and beauty. During the chiming clock, there is someone to clink glasses with, there is someone to kiss on the cheek and not only, you can shout “Hurrah!” and still stay with your friends. After meeting the New Year itself, everyone will be happy to go outside to get some fresh air, unwind, launch a few fireworks and clap a couple of firecrackers. However, it should be remembered that by morning the fun will end, and as a result, everyone will start to go to bed, and it’s good if everyone gets a bed. And if not? I'll have to lie down on the floor - hard, uncomfortable and hindered by a friend sniffing next to me. Of course, you could go home, but at such a time you can’t catch a taxi, public transport doesn’t run yet and you are forced to stay for the night where you have to.
2. With a loved one
This is a great way to celebrate a romantic New Year. Ideally, you should go somewhere so that no one can ruin your holiday (especially if this is the first such joint holiday), but you can stay at home, cook an evening by candlelight, order dinner from a restaurant and enjoy the company of your beloved or beloved all night long. Watch TV, dance, have sex and do it all over again. Perhaps this is the most favorable option for a holiday. Only positive emotions remain from it, it cannot be repeated next year or some other time. It is one of a kind, unique! It is necessary to catch every moment lived and be aware that there may not be anything like this again, and it is better to live this special night as the last one, so that it would be pleasant to remember, and ashamed to tell.
3. With parents
This is a universal way of celebrating. Mom, she may already be a grandmother, who, by definition, is an amazing cook, will lay a chic table with fragrant poppy seed cakes and traditional Olivier. The father, who is also a grandfather, will buy the biggest, fluffy and fragrant Christmas tree for his children and grandchildren. He will dress her up with old attic toys, with which a lot of childhood memories are associated, hang plastic garlands-balls, still from the post-war period, but still working, sit in an armchair and play wooden chess with her grandson or tell stories of her youth long ago learned by heart . It will be quite interesting and very kind, but one cannot count on long gatherings until the morning. Immediately after the New Year's greetings from the head of state, parents begin to fall asleep and the holiday ends within half an hour.
4. Somewhere
This option is best suited to the younger generation, which prefers to dance until you drop and walk the night away. They will love spending New Year's Eve at a ski resort, or at a night bar, or in a balloon basket. Here the choice is the most unlimited. It all depends on the material condition and the keen desire to feel something new.
Which of the methods most closely matches the inner mood of a person, so the farewell will take place-meetingOld New Year. The main thing is that at the same time you have positive emotions, and may you be happy!
