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Should your wife tell the truth to her husband? Honest relationships. Why do people lie? Secrets of psychology: how to tell if a person is lying

The ability to read a person's facial expression and determine whether he is telling the truth can come in handy and keep you out of trouble. This skill will help you know whether to trust a charming stranger you recently met on the street and whether to go on a date with him. Juries often use these lie detection techniques in trials, and they are also known to police and judges, making their jobs easier. In order to master the art of detecting lies, you need to know something about body language and the meaning of facial expressions - people usually don't pay attention to such little things. You just need to read our article and practice a little in using your newly acquired knowledge.

Steps

How to tell if someone is lying to you by their facial and eye expressions

Observe the microexpressions on the face of the person you are talking to. Microexpressions are expressions that appear on the face for just a split second, usually they express the real emotions and feelings that a person is experiencing. Some people can recognize such microexpressions automatically without additional training; others need to learn how to do so. We will tell you how to learn this.

• Usually, if a person is lying, then his face will express anxiety - the inner ends of the eyebrows raised upward, forming wrinkles on the forehead.

1. Another well-known sign of a liar is touching the tip of your nose or covering your mouth with your hand. People who lie very often touch their nose with their hand. This is most likely due to an increase in the level of adrenaline in the blood - in particular, in the capillaries located at the tip of the nose. Therefore, an itching sensation appears on the nose. A person who is lying will most likely hold their hands as close to their mouth as possible - as if trying to cover their mouth and stop telling lies. If a person’s lips are clearly tense or compressed, this means that he is tense and anxious.

   Watch the eyes of the person you are talking to. Typically, when people try to remember something that actually happened, their eyes look to the left side or to the upper left corner (if the person is right-handed). When people try to use their imagination and come up with something or lie, their eyes look to the right. For left-handers, accordingly, the directions will be opposite. Also, people who lie tend to blink more frequently. If a person rubs his eyes (especially a man), he is most likely telling a lie.

   If a person does not look you in the eyes, this does not mean that he is lying. Contrary to popular belief, liars do not always avoid eye contact. People also often break eye contact to concentrate on their memories. Liars deliberately look into the eyes so that their lies seem more sincere, in order to “prove” to their interlocutor that they are telling the truth.

   • Research shows that some liars make too much eye contact, barely breaking eye contact. Therefore, investigators usually take prolonged eye contact with a suspect as a sign that he is trying to hide something. When a person avoids visual contact with you, it means that he is alarmed or puzzled.

2. Watch the amount of detail in the conversation. If a person tells you too much and mentions a lot of details, for example: “My mother lives in France. It's very beautiful there, isn't it? Do you like the Eiffel Tower? It’s very clean and wonderful!” - this could mean that he is desperately trying to make you believe that what he is saying is true.

   Watch your emotional reaction. When a person lies, the emotional reaction will be untimely - for example, because he knew in advance that you would ask and rehearsed his answer and reaction.

   • If a person answers immediately after you ask a question, he may be lying. He could have thought out his answer in advance and was just waiting for the moment when you asked the question.
   • Another sign of a liar is drooping important facts and events. For example: “I left for work at 7 am, and when I returned at 5 pm, he was already dead.” In this case, the person does not talk about what he did between 7 am and 5 pm. This could mean that he is lying or trying to hide something.

3. Carefully monitor the other person's reaction to your questions. The one who tells the truth will most likely not make excuses and prove that he is right, and will not take a defensive position. A liar will prove that he is right, respond with insults, change the subject, deviate from the answer, and so on.

   • A person who tells the truth will respond to accusations with explanations and a large number details. A liar will only repeat what he has already said and insist on his own.
   • Watch out for delays in responses to your questions. An honest answer usually follows immediately after the question - if the person remembers well what happened. How more people lies - the more difficult it is for him to follow what he says, so he thinks about each answer, afraid of giving himself away and saying something that contradicts his previous answers. When people avert their gaze and look away, it may indicate an attempt to remember events that happened.

4. Watch what words your interlocutor uses. Here are the signs that a person is lying:

   • Repeating the same words when answering a question.
   • Avoiding an answer or attempting to delay an answer - for example, asking the question to be repeated. Other methods of avoiding a quick answer are for example when a person says that this is a great question, or that it is not so easy to answer, that it depends on what exactly is meant, etc.
   • Liars often avoid contractions and emphasize negative particles. For example: “I did NOT do that.” This is an attempt to convince the interlocutor that you are right or innocent.
   • Incoherent speech, sentences that don't make sense and unfinished phrases are signs of a liar.
   • Using humor or sarcasm to avoid a direct answer.
   • Using the expressions “to be honest”, “to be blunt”, “so as not to lie”, “to be precise”, etc. may be a sign of deception.
   • Reacting too quickly or answering a question with an exact repetition of the sentence structure. For example, the question: “Did you not wash the dishes very carefully?”, the answer: “No, I did not wash the dishes very carefully.”

5. Repeating sentences already said earlier. If the interlocutor continues to answer with the same words and repeat sentences already said, he is most likely lying. When a person comes up with a lie, he usually remembers it in the form of a specific expression or a well-thought-out sentence or statement that he composed. If you ask him about the same thing several times, he will repeat the same thing over and over again.

   Move to another topic. If a person suddenly takes the conversation in a different direction or changes the subject, it may mean that he is lying. For example: “I was walking home, and then suddenly on the road...hey, did you get a haircut or something? Suits you"

   • Liars know that people like compliments. If your “suspect” during an “interrogation” suddenly begins to compliment you, this cannot but arouse suspicion. A person rarely gives compliments out of the goodness of his soul.

6. Look at the big picture. When you look at body language, verbal responses, and other indicators, consider the following factors:

   • Is the person under stress that is not caused by this particular situation?
   • Perhaps a person’s behavior is influenced by factors such as the traditions and culture of his people?
   • Are you personally biased towards this person? Maybe you expect or want him to lie? Be careful with your feelings!
   • Does this person have experience? Maybe he's a skilled liar?
   • Does a person have a reason, a motive that makes him tell a lie?
   • Are you good at looking for signs of deception? Maybe you just think this person is lying? Be objective about yourself and your abilities.

7. Try not to make things worse. Let the person feel a normal, non-hostile attitude - then he will relax and behave naturally. Never show a person that you suspect him of lying. If he doesn't suspect anything, you'll be in a better position to look for signs of deception.

   Determine what is normal behavior for this person. Watch how he behaves when he is not lying. This will help you notice signs of unnatural behavior in a person if he suddenly begins to lie. Ask him a few general issues and watch his reaction. Ask questions to which you already know the answers.

   Often people who are trying to deceive you will tell true stories, deviating from the topic of conversation in order not to directly answer the question you asked. For example, if the question “Have you ever hit your wife?” the man replies, “I love my wife, why should I beat her?” - this means that he is trying to avoid a direct answer to the question. He can tell the truth without answering the question posed. This means that he is trying to hide something.

   Ask the person to tell the whole story again from the beginning. If you're not sure he's telling the truth, ask him to tell you what happened over and over again. If he is lying, it will be difficult for him to stick to the same story despite its numerous repetitions.

   • Ask the person to talk about what happened backwards - starting with the most recent event and working backwards chronological order. This is very difficult to do even for a professional, experienced liar.

8. Look at a liar with disbelief. If he lies, he will feel uncomfortable. If he tells the truth, he will get angry or upset (compressed lips, lowered eyebrows, lowered gaze).

   Use silence as a weapon. It is very difficult for a liar to remain silent. Silence leaves him in the dark - did you believe him or not? Liars do not have patience; they will fill the silence with meaningless conversations, even if you do not ask them anything.

   • Liars try to determine whether you believed them or not. If you remain impartial and don't give away your thoughts, they will start to worry.
   • If you are a good listener, you will not interrupt your interlocutor, allowing him to completely finish his story. This will help identify inconsistencies in what he is telling you.

9. Check everything the person being interrogated tells you. If you can, check all the facts and details he mentioned. Talk to possible witnesses, if any.

• The more you get to know the person you're talking to, the easier it is for you to understand his thinking and the better you can distinguish truth from untruth in his mouth.
• Liars can use objects around them to create details of their story. For example, if there is a pen on the table, they can include it in their story. This is another sign by which you can recognize a liar.
• A quick and abrupt change of topic or inappropriate jokes may indicate lying. This is also indicated by overprotection or staring to the side, trying to convince you by staring at you. Sometimes they may distract you with questions. Some people are good at pretending. Some people are very good at lying and give little away, so you have to rely on your own intuition.
• Some of the signs described above may appear during deep thought or an attempt to recover lost memories. People who are often nervous, shy, easily scared, guilty of something, etc., may show signs of deception where there is none. Some people are simply nervous and do not know how to respond adequately to stress or pressure, so they will behave strangely and suspiciously - like liars, even when they have absolutely nothing to hide.
• If you think that someone is lying, then try to find some details in the behavior. *If they start to feel shy or touch their face, this could indicate that the person is lying!
• Some people have a reputation for being liars and deceivers. Take this into account, but do not be biased towards such a person. People change all the time. Reputation is not everything, and even signs of deception should be part of the overall picture, which must be carefully examined before drawing conclusions.
• To practice identifying liars, you can watch television programs, for example about trials. Try to determine by the end of the program which of the defendants is lying. If it turns out that you were right, it means that you are good at distinguishing truth from lies.
• Try to determine whether what the other person is telling you makes sense. When people lie, they get nervous, so they often come up with lies that make absolutely no sense.
• Make sure the person is really lying before making decisions. You don't want to ruin your relationship with this person for no reason.
• It is much easier to recognize a lie if you know the person well.
• Although any of the above signs may sound like a lie, a combination of them gives a more accurate result.
• Many people tell the truth most of the time. They value their reputation. Liars can also maintain an impeccable reputation so that they can be easily believed.
• Some people are simply shy and may not actually be lying, although they may fidget or avoid eye contact at the time. So don't rule it out.
• Some people are professional liars. There may simply be no flaws or inconsistencies in their story. Every time we tell something, we form memories. Therefore, if a person is a professional deceiver, he can talk about fictitious events with such confidence that will confuse even an experienced detective. Some liars are simply impossible to spot.
• Liars don't talk too much. If you ask them simply, “Did you do this?”, they will answer simply “yes” or “no.” Be careful. More detailed questions may bring them to the surface.
• If you say, “I don't believe you,” or if you say, “That doesn't sound convincing,” the liar may begin to speak louder. Try to conduct a dialogue, and not just recite that the person is lying.
• Some liars, on the contrary, are overly talkative.
• When someone lies, they begin to fidget or stutter and begin to do everything to make you believe them: cry, beg. They also look into your eyes to convince you so much that you feel embarrassed.
• Clinical psychopaths and sociopaths may engage in deception professionally. They skillfully manipulate people and reality, so it is almost impossible to catch them in deception. Such people do not care about anyone - only about themselves, and can lie for any reason on any topic, regardless of the consequences.
• Some of the above symptoms may appear when a person is simply concentrating. (For example, with a difficult topic or when a person is stressed).
• Also watch the speed of your eye movements. A liar will keep his face facing you, but instead of looking you in the eye, he will look around or look around.
• Instead of close questioning, you can ask related questions over several days.
• When a person remembers events, his gaze moves down. If a person continues to look at you at the moment of remembering, then most likely he is lying.
• Liars can often drawl their words and take their time when answering.
• Watch your body movements, voice and eyes. Usually these moments give away a person when he is lying.
• Plastic surgery or Botox injections can prevent you from recognizing the facial expression of your interlocutor.
• Be wary of people who constantly agree with you. Some liars just like to constantly assent.
• If you know a person well and see that he is under stress, you can easily bring him to light.
• If a person knows that you like him, he can tell you that he is already in a relationship. In this way, a person wants to check how much you like you or make it clear that he is not interested in you.

Warnings

• A forced smile is most often just an attempt to be polite. If someone smiles at you insincerely, they may simply be trying to make a good impression on you or show their respect.
• People who are deaf or deaf-mute may constantly look at your lips rather than your eyes - because they read lips.
• Some people just like to make eye contact all the time. They do this all the time; maybe their parents told them it was polite. This doesn't necessarily mean they are lying.
• Be careful, if you are always trying to find lies where there are none, people will avoid you and they will not feel comfortable spending time with you. There is no need to constantly suspect everyone and not trust your loved ones. This is unhealthy.
• Body language is just one sign, and not a guarantee, that a person is lying. There is no need to base all your conclusions solely on the above indicators. Find evidence that a person is lying before you accuse him of lying. Do not be biased towards your interlocutor, do not look for deception in his words just because you want to find it.
• Some people with autism or Asperger's disorder almost never make eye contact. This is not a sign of their dishonesty.
• Research shows that the interrogation of a suspect should always be conducted in his native language, since even people who are perfectly fluent in another language will not behave naturally when speaking it.
• In some cultures, eye contact is considered rude, so such a person may constantly avoid it. People who have suffered abuse or had difficult relationships with their parents often avoid making eye contact when talking. Shy people or those with social anxiety often act as if they have something to hide. Their behavior is very similar to that of a deceiver. Before drawing conclusions, make sure that this person is really a deceiver, based not only on the above signs, but also on specific facts.
• Some people have a dry mouth very often, so they may always swallow and cough frequently.
• Some people get restless and fidget when they need to go to the toilet or when they feel cold/hot.
• People with bipolar disorder speak very quickly when they are overstimulated.

How to understand when a person is telling the truth and when he is blatantly lying? Psychologists identify several signs by which you can determine how sincere your interlocutor is.

Catching a person in a lie is not so easy. What tricks do liars resort to! But there are weapons against them too - just watch a person’s behavior, gestures, movements, and voice, and everything immediately becomes clear.

How to understand that a person is lying

• The liar, telling his made-up story, tries hardly gesticulate, since gestures can give it away.
• If a person is lying, then he unconsciously tries to hide from the interlocutor, for example, goes to another room under any pretext or tries to hide behind a book, computer or phone.
• Liar touches his face frequently. He rubs his forehead, straightens his hair, averts his eyes, scratches his nose, etc. This is how he hides his excitement.

• Liar all the time twirls something in his hands- a pen, a lock of hair, a phone, etc. Although this behavior may simply indicate nervous state person, and not at all about the fact that he is telling a lie.
• Often, before you begin your false story or answer a question, man takes a break. For example, he may take a sip of water or cough. He gives himself this time to think about how best to lie.
• Liar often includes "fool", that is, he pretends that he has no idea what he’s talking about or doesn’t understand the essence of the issue.

• Master liars always know that the most best protection- this is an attack. That is why, when they are suspected of lying, they make their interlocutor feel guilty. For example, a liar can shame his opponent for suspecting him in vain, and in general, how could he think such a thing about him!?
• Changing the conversation to another topic- another trick of experienced liars. If a liar feels that he cannot withstand a series of questions, as a result of which there is a high risk of making a mistake, then he tries to change the topic as quickly as possible.
• Unnatural smile. A person cannot smile naturally if he is not telling the truth. His smile will be forced, strained.

• The speech of a liar. Pay attention to how the liar speaks. If talks too fast, then it means he’s prepared and wants to blurt out his invented story immediately and in detail so that the interlocutor has no questions left. If a person speaks very slowly, then this may mean that he is deliberately stalling for time to properly think through his lie.

We wish you good luck in recognizing and exposing liars, and don't forget to press the buttons and

Ecology of consciousness. Psychology: There are people who like to tell the truth. Everyone. No request. Tell someone that her legs are crooked, someone that she’s a bad cook, someone that she should go to a psychologist. Most often such people are women; men are more indifferent to details.

Stop telling everyone the truth about everything

There are people who like to tell the truth. Everyone. No request. Tell someone that her legs are crooked, someone that she’s a bad cook, someone that she should go to a psychologist. Most often such people are women, men are more indifferent to details. Although I know one man who has what is on his mind and on his tongue. And he regularly says to his subordinates:

• You've gotten old somehow

• Your hair is stupid

• You look like you're drunk

• You're kind of fat

• Your dress is terrible

And so on. And everything is in between. First about work - then such a compliment - and then again about work. His employees are, of course, shocked. And who wouldn’t be shocked by this? Although in some ways he is right. In my own way.

Is this kind of truth-telling compatible with femininity? What about harmony? Love? As a person who struggles with truth-telling within himself, I will say - definitely not. Doesn't fit at all.

Telling the truth is important. But the vector should always be directed towards itself. Tell the truth about yourself. Because you don’t know the truth about others and you can’t know. Before you condemn someone, you need to go through his path from beginning to end. To understand and pass through yourself.

When we forget that the truth is only important about ourselves, different things happen. Scandals, quarrels, misunderstandings.

A wife who describes her husband's responsibilities is right in everything. And he speaks the truth. But the relationship is destroyed. Because that's not the truth she should care about.

A mother who gives her daughter feedback that she is new guy- an idiot, he is right and speaks the truth. But does this improve her relationship with her daughter? Does this make the mother more respectable and trustworthy in her daughter's eyes?

A friend who, in response to your tears, diagnoses you and tries to therapy you without asking, is also unlikely to remain your friend for long. Because it is difficult, impossible to communicate with such people. Like in a minefield, don’t say anything unnecessary so as not to run into trouble.

What about with strangers? It's all the same with them. She told the truth and moved on. If you don't know about karma, it looks beautiful. But if we remember that all the feelings of other people will return to us, it becomes clear that it will not pass.

Trolls who think their comments online will go unpunished are mistaken. There is a higher justice, and every tear of another person will be returned to you. From another place, but will return. Everything is accurate in the universe.

Every time I started telling the truth to someone or got involved in such clarifications, I always got hit in the face. Illnesses – yours and your children’s, quarrels with your husband, financial losses. I didn’t always correlate one and the other.

There was a period in my life when, having read a lot about psychology, I “treated” everyone. I told my friends what problems they had with mom and dad, what complexes they had. Sometimes it was shocking. A friend comes to put up wallpaper, and I “treat” her in between times.

Did it have an effect? No. Because resistance turned on in the person. And even my very good “truth” did not reach me. And the truth is, it always seems good and correct. To the one who wants to express it. But for the one to whom it is spoken, it is most often painful and unpleasant. Therefore, such truth-telling destroys relationships.

What is the general purpose of this behavior? Why do we want to tell everyone the truth? And to whom do we say it more often than others?

1. Pride. If I catch someone else doing something, then I become cooler. If I tell someone else something that he doesn’t see, I’ll be smarter, cooler and all that. I'll feed mine false ego. I will be like the Lord God.

2. The desire to increase your self-esteem. And the more important in a certain environment a person about whom I “know” the truth is, the more points of self-esteem I can get. Therefore, they usually attack famous people(Vasya Pupkin is usually indifferent to everyone). And in our marathon only the most popular ones are attacked.

3. Envy.Usually the more envy I have towards someone, the more truth I want to tell about him. It’s not immediately obvious what exactly I envy, but it’s always there.

4. Negative emotions. In order to become happy, you need to get rid of the accumulated burden of negativity in your heart. But how? What if there is no culture of conveying emotions? If you can’t block it inside? If astrological exacerbations occur, when does it pour out everywhere? I have to pour it out. Where it seems safe. On the Internet, for example. Fill different sites with your bile, for example. So feminists go to my site and curse at me, foaming at the mouth. They just want to be happy.

5. Own pain Not everyone wants to tell the truth. And to someone specific, in a specific situation. Why? Yes, because it resonates strongly. You can already think about it, fantasize, and draw conclusions. Only the conclusions will be about me, and not about the one to whom I say this.

6. The myth that being right brings happiness.

Where does this idea come from? That he is only happy if he wins. And winning always means that someone will lose. Someone needs to be defeated by me for me to be happy. But this model is not for women. It’s not a woman’s business to win. We must learn to love. And love and righteousness are too conflicting concepts.

Right to Ignorance

Each of us has the right to ignorance. If you see something bad in a person, this is not a reason to open his eyes. Everyone has the right not to know. Don't see. Everyone has. By depriving a person of such a right, you create a conflict. So stop giving unsolicited advice to others.. Stop psychotherapy without asking. Stop telling everyone the truth about everything.

Most women who are offended by their mothers are offended precisely for this. Because their right to ignorance was trampled upon. That they were constantly given feedback on the principle of “who else will tell you!” About crooked legs big ears, trashy character, lazy mother.

It is this desire to be right that infuriates most men in their wives. Tell the truth to last word It remains for her to argue, to prove. Any man can be driven to breakdown by such behavior. Anyone. If you prove for every reason that he is wrong, poke him into shortcomings, shortcomings and responsibilities. This can destroy any relationship.

Because each of us has the right not to know. When we want to know something, we can ask. Ask for advice. Ask feedback. And sometimes we do this. But only with those people who do not tell the truth for any reason or without. We will only come for advice to those we trust and respect. These are completely different people.

Which allow others to be different. Which allow others to make mistakes. They accept and forgive. Even if they see what could be improved and changed.

A wife will achieve great changes in her husband if she stops talking about his shortcomings and focuses on his strengths. The mother who gives her daughter a sense of emotional security will remain her best friend. A daughter who accepts her mother as she is will one day be able to feel how her mother loves her.

But what to do if the truth is seething inside and demands to be expressed right here and now? Directly to this person?

I want to reassure you - we are all sick. And if the truth is seething inside you and wants to speak out, then it's about you. And not about the person to whom you express this. That is, it’s worth stopping and thinking - why do you want to tell this particular truth and this particular person? What does this say about me?

Because if you speak out, you will receive aggression. Hidden or overt, it depends on the relationship with the person and his internal capabilities to work with aggression. And this aggression towards you is justified. Because you are depriving a person of the right to ignorance.

But with us it’s usually like this: I’ll tell you the truth, and let you accept and reflect. Or don't accept it, it's up to you. My job is to dump everything out of myself that is bothering me, and you sort it out yourself. And what usually gets in the way is that it doesn’t smell very good, so we overwhelm everyone around with such things. But if we get aggression in response, then that means I was right. I am white fluffy, and you are twice bad. You need to change, work on yourself.

Not like that. Still not like that. With my truth-telling, I take away your right to ignorance, because something bad is seething inside me. And it’s seething because it’s MINE. My trauma, my dirt. Not yours. You are a tool. Mirror. And when I take this right away from you, you show aggression. And I deserve it. Not because I hit the mark, but because that’s who I am. All my truth was not about you, but about me.

And there is no need to delve into other people's lives, who deserves what. Let's delve only into ours. How I destroy relationships and worsen my life in general with my truth-telling. What do I constantly see in others that is really about me?. Let's remember that the worst kind of pride is accusing others of being proud. Looks nice though. And the most “trump” manipulation is to accuse the other of manipulation.

Therefore, let's learn to see the logs in our own eyes, and not poke others at their straws. We are girls after all.

And of course, a question arises. But we also have the right to tell the truth whenever we want? If they have the right not to hear, doesn't that mean I don't have the right to speak? But here it is useful to remember that our freedom ends where the freedom of another begins. You shouldn’t go to someone else’s monastery with your own rules.

Although there are people who can do this. And it will be for the benefit of both. Who can speak the truth without asking others?

1. Wife to husband. If she serves him. If she respects him, honors him. If she is faithful to him. And if she says all this softly and tenderly. With love. IN right time and in the right circumstances. That's how many conditions there are.

2. Husband to wife. If he gives her protection on all levels. If he cares about her. If he says it softly and with love. If he respects and appreciates her.

3. Parents– provided that they provide protection to their child, including emotional protection. If there is trust and respect between parent and child. Then, by choosing the form of presentation, you can tell the truth.

4. Mentor. Provided that the person chose the mentor himself and trusted him. Even a psychologist or astrologer has no right to tell a person what he was not asked about, can you imagine?

But here too the form is important. If the truth is spoken with love in the heart, it is easier to accept. It cannot be rejected because it is out of love. And not out of pride, envy, anger, or the desire to be cooler. This kind of truth heals. Only like this. And I have seen teachers who know how to communicate with the world in such a way. But they can only do this because they have love inside them. Love, not everything else. Love that comes from Above.

The price for truth-telling is enormous. Broken relationships negative emotions surrounding people, the inability to develop and progress. Inability to love. The inability to truly open your heart.

For me this price is too high. But everyone ultimately chooses for themselves whether to be right or to be happy. Happy people don’t prove anything to anyone, don’t teach anyone about life, and don’t give advice without asking. published. If you have any questions about this topic, ask them to the experts and readers of our project .

Absolutely everyone lies. Some, of course, are less, some are more, and everyone may have their own reasons for lying. In this article we will try to figure out how to determine when a person is lying, as well as situations in which a person can or is forced to lie.

Often people hide their emotions and true attitude towards a person. Although everyone wants to hear the truth, it is not for nothing that there is a phrase “Better the bitter truth than a sweet lie,” which has become popular. However, research shows that the average person lies three times during a ten-minute conversation. How contradictory is the essence of man! But how do you know if a person is lying, or is it completely impossible? In fact, the truth is written on a person's face. In any case, this is what neurolinguistic psychologists say.

But before you figure out how we make time, you need to understand why this is done, or what forces us to do it.

Why do people lie

It very often happens that a person seems to have not lied, but apparently lied. Or rather, he didn’t say enough, or didn’t say what he really thinks. It is believed that there are situations when a lie is not recognized as something negative, and even quite the opposite. It can be useful, and even fun. For example:

• Lying to the enemy
• Lying to an official to obtain personal gain that cannot be obtained in an honest way.
• White lie. Quite often used by doctors. Let’s say the doctor does not talk about the true diagnosis of a seriously ill patient, so as not to aggravate his condition.
• They lie to those who are unable, for example, due to their views on life, to perceive the truth adequately. If you tell such a person the truth, the outcome may be unpredictable or very sad.
• Lying to prank a person.

Humanity is accustomed to lying because someone imposed the idea that if you always tell the truth, you can forget about friends, work and personal relationships. If we carefully understand the issue of truth, we can come to the conclusion that in many aspects there is no one truth. Each individual person may have their own truth, and this is directly related to the worldview of that individual. This fact was noticed back in the 19th century, when so-called “black and white” thinking, in which there was only truth or lie, was widespread. Great minds of the time argued that there was an intermediate state. That is, if you suspect a person of lying, you need to subject the information he presented to a comprehensive analysis, taking into account his specific situation. However, there are also some specific signals of deceit, which we will now try to sort out.

Signs of a lie

So, how can you tell if a person is lying? Of course, you need to pay attention to the person’s facial expressions during a conversation, the position of the body, hands, as well as the speech itself.

Eyes

In a situation where a person lies consciously and wants to defend his position, he tries to look straight into the eyes to find out whether you believed his lie or not. In the opposite situation, if a person is taken by surprise, and he is going to lie so that it will soon be forgotten, he tries to switch your attention as quickly as possible, going into next room, or sort through papers, trying to avoid eye contact. It's terrible if you confuse lies with insecurity, so be careful. Watch for blinking when talking. A high blink rate indicates that the person is stressed, which means they are likely lying. Although this same stress may be due to the fact that the topic of conversation is simply unpleasant for him. A person can be considered happy during a conversation if he blinks rarely.

Body

Now a little about the signs that will help answer the question: how to determine that a person is lying by his body position. If your interlocutor prefers to make any movements with only one side of the body, then most likely he is expressing the opposite of that what's really going on in his head.

If a person backs away when speaking, they may not be sure of what they are saying.

If the interlocutor feels that he is about to be caught in a lie, then he immediately begins to get nervous and try to control his facial expressions. However, the body remains tense. The pose may be unnatural. A liar tries to hide or cross his arms.

Face and lips

Let's talk about facial signs of lying.

If a person tries to pass off joy as sympathy, then the corners of his lips may tremble. The same effect is observed when a person manages to fool someone.

A pursed lower lip can indicate uncertainty in your words, as well as internal disagreement between words and deeds.

An asymmetrical emotion or a smile distorted in one direction indicates insincerity. Many experts classify this sign as one that indicates a 100% probability of lying.

A raised chin can reveal annoyance or anger towards your interlocutor, no matter how friendly the person acts.

Another signal of deceit is surprise that lasts more than five seconds. If you observe this from your interlocutor, it means he knew about everything in advance.

Hands

Hands are next.

Touching your neck with your hands indicates lying or excitement. This technique is used quite often in films when a man loosens his tie before delivering bad news or telling a lie. If a person is holding his throat, then this hints that he is afraid to express his thoughts (he seems to be trying to hold back his words in the literal sense of the word).

A person clasps his hands - hiding something, and an attempt to control himself and not give away the secret.

An attempt to hide your hands from view (put them in your pocket, or put them behind your back) indicates an obvious lie in the words.

A liar may try to calm himself down by stroking himself with his fingers.

As it turns out, the well-known tradition of shaking hands has its practical significance. If, while shaking, you notice that your interlocutor’s hands are cold, it means that he could be overcome by the fear of exposure. However, the same symptom can be caused by a lack of blood circulation.

Speech signs of lying

A liar can also be identified by the characteristics of his communication. There are a huge number of methods and elements of speech by which you can determine whether a person is lying.

For example, if your interlocutor speaks in a rather high-pitched voice, then there is a possibility that he is lying.

If you suspect a person of deceit, ask him to state the same situation, only backwards. If a person lies, it will cause him obvious difficulties.

Also ask, clarify details, and if a person lies to you, he will definitely make a mistake or get nervous.

In any case, remember that any of these signs cannot guarantee the presence of a lie.

Typically, a liar wants something from you. The need to lie causes unconscious stress in a person. If the topic of conversation directly concerns both interlocutors, specific questions should not irritate the respondent. This, of course, does not apply to the situation in which you “stick your nose into other people’s affairs” and show curiosity about someone else’s personal space. What should you be wary of in the speech of a person who is lying to you?

• evasive answers to direct questions;
• reluctance to discuss the details of a topic or matter;
• answering questions with questions;
• phrases: “It’s not important”, “Why do you need this?” and similar excuses;
• flood, a flow of unnecessary information and reasoning on extraneous topics instead of a specific answer to a simple question;
• emotional reactions and responses in which hidden or obvious irritation is felt;
• Freudian slips.

Physiological signs

If a person lies, this affects his physiological state. What physiological reactions are typical for a person who lies?

• Often, a person who tells a lie will have a dry mouth; therefore, he will unconsciously touch his throat, lips, face, swallow, or grab a glass of water.
• A liar often blushes, feeling guilty and internally ashamed. If he is afraid of exposure, he may become unnaturally pale.
• Breathing while voicing false information may become more frequent, deeper, and before answering the person will frantically strive to take in more air into the lungs.
• In response to a question, a liar may blink frequently, which indicates a state of stress and a feverish selection of answers that are more or less similar to the truth.
• In men, in the process of lying, the Adam's apple may move convulsively, and the neck muscles may become tense, and this can be seen with the naked eye.
• The fact that there is a liar in front of you may be indicated by sudden sweating; the person may “break into a sweat.”

Behavioral signs

A person who has nothing to hide is open and relaxed during a conversation. A liar, on the contrary, is tense, trying with all his might to isolate himself from direct questions and direct gaze. A number of oddities in the behavior of your counterpart should alert you.

• Before answering, the interlocutor looks away, and after answering, most often, he looks carefully into the eyes, as if trying to understand whether they believe him or not.
• When hiding the truth, people instinctively use unconscious defense tactics. An insincere interlocutor strives to distance himself during a conversation, creates material “barriers” - for example, he can bury his face in a book, hide behind a computer, turn half-turn, crossing his legs and defiantly folding his arms crosswise on his chest, put a briefcase between himself and you, or some other - another item.
• In response to asked question The liar may reach for a glass of water or a cup of coffee to take a sip or two, cough or light a cigarette. This provides a pause during which options for untruthful answers are considered.
• If the questions concern personal relationships, the interlocutor may show indignation, jump up, walk back and forth, aimlessly shift objects from place to place, and fiddle with the details of his clothing.

It should be borne in mind that slightly inappropriate behavior can be provoked by pressure and tactlessness, this especially applies to situations related to a showdown. In a business conversation, such behavior may indicate that a person is hiding the truth or giving false information.

When analyzing a person’s behavior during a conversation, do not “go too far.” Perhaps a person’s stress is caused by strong natural shyness or your aggressive position, psychological pressure or an unfamiliar environment. In any case, one cannot judge by one or two signs, but only by their totality. An experienced fraudster controls himself much better, and to determine who is in front of you - potential partner or a deceiver who will only bring trouble, in this case it is more difficult. In the question of “to believe or not to believe,” rely on your intuition and observation.